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May is a great time for Vegas – the weather is warm without being too stuffy. Two girlfriends and I were there for four nights to celebrate Megan’s graduation (finally). What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas… except what goes on Facebook, and these seven deadly sins.

Lust

No, we did not hire any strippers with three boobs from the guys who hand out naked pictures on the streets… as much as my friends were eager to do so before we actually arrived. Instead, we watched the amazing Cirque show Zumanity. We expected artistic nudity, but it surprised us in its exploration of sensuality, fetishes, and pretty much ended in an all-out orgy on stage. The artistic side was present as well, in its typical Cirque fashion… a flawless, rehearsed performance with acts that amaze and defy gravity. My favourite was the aerial silk hula hoop girl (dressed in a tiny schoolgirl outfit, because it’s Zumanity) who twirled above our heads while hula hooping – one time even balancing at least 15 hula hoops on her body in the air.

And of course, there were these gentlemen. Look at me awkwardly touching that photo. Next to Cirque, the performance left much to be desired, but as entertainment? Great for laughs.

Envy

The real reason I keep coming back to Vegas? Shopping. It’s like all the best buyers are in Vegas – the selection is impeccable. I especially love that the sales racks are always full of my sizes, unlike Vancouver where apparently everyone is my size and I can never get what I want on sale. Vegas is also full of luxury brand names that are difficult to find in Vancouver (probably a good thing, or I’d be even poorer than I am now).

There were two items in particular that I would love to have (but not as much as keeping the money on the price tag). First, a pair of Alexander McQueen sunglasses (although unlike the photo, I liked the red pair) with a gorgeous cat eye shape and a classy side wave. Next, a pair of Valentinos that I have been craving ever since the first time I saw them in Holt Renfrew. This trip, I actually tried them on and know my size. So uh… if anyone wants to give me a really generous birthday present, just ask.

Pride

Now don’t get me wrong… I still spent a decent portion of savings on shopping (actually, I exceeded the claim maximum for crossing the border), and I’m proud of the awesome things I bought. My best spend? $100 on an Elie Tahari dress regularly priced at $400. It’s so beautiful!

Also, I bought shoes. Okay, not all of the above shoes were mine, but I did spend enough to have to check a bag on the flight home… luckily, I flew WestJet on the way home so the checked bag was free!

Greed

This Vegas trip was my first experience playing cards in a casino! Granted, Megan and I were so cheap that we went off the strip to find $5 Blackjack. Before sitting down, I told her I would stop if I reached $25 (after buying in at $20) but after we both won the first round, we just kept playing. Luckily for me, greed worked in my favour as I still cashed out with a $12.50 profit… didn’t work out as well for Megan. In short, we can safely say the casino was the real winner.

Gluttony

Feeling like a baller, I went on to have the most expensive meal of my life. The service at Bartolotta was beyond extraordinary, and the way the menu was presented was spectacular. I greatly enjoyed the appetizers – cringed only a little at the yummy loin of rabbit. There was plenty of seafood to go around. The restaurant specializes in cooking imported fish from Italy, which comes to their kitchen 5-6 times a week. Unfortunately, while the price reflects this, the taste of the main dish does not. Still, the fish is plated in front of the table, and the presentation is beautiful.

I’d probably go back… but instead of ordering a seriously overpriced fish (or at least have more people share a smaller fish), I would order more appetizers (including their smaller plates of pasta which were also delicious) and end with their “symphony of desserts”.

Sloth

After pigging out, we felt the need to lie in the sun like piggies. While I’ve been to Vegas multiple times before, this is my first time during pool season, and I can’t imagine why I haven’t gone at this time of the year more often. The beds by the pool were indirectly under mist sprays that went off periodically to cool off a bit.

Wrath

Unfortunately all good things must come to an end. And all I get to do now is blog about it… until next time!

Disclaimer: Photos in this post were taken by Megan and Lucy as I was too lazy to carry a camera.

Yesterday was my friend Julie’s birthday party and she threw an adorable tea party potluck. She made the macaroons (above) herself, and they were delicious!

These savoury bites were from Costco (love that place haha). I didn’t get photos of all the dishes, but there were a lot of cookies, scones, some cupcakes, cream puffs – much more food than any of us could finish – I still have some leftover treats!

Julie also made these ham, cheese and raisin mini croissants. Not pictured, she made awesome cucumber sandwiches (which I almost made, so phew that I didn’t because mine would be not as tasty as hers!) I did however make curried tuna salad with golden raisins on rye bread (mini sandwiches) and they tasted okay (yay for my non-existent culinary skills)!

This teapot is sitting on top of a mini candle to keep it warm! What a cute idea.

We all got to drink out of a collection  of gorgeous bone china teacups. I need to get myself a few

Lastly, here’s the birthday card I made for Julie, featuring her own pun! I bought the Cricut Teddy Bear Parade Cartridge so now my Create a Critter creatures can dress up in fancy costumes like the koala shown here! =)

This blog post is in response to an article on Vancity Buzz. To read the original article, go ahead and click here. For those who are not already aware, Vancity Buzz is a blog that stays very current with happenings around town – the first place I usually hear of new stores opening downtown. However, every so often, mixed in with quality articles, there are some that just… don’t quite live up to par. I felt I had to write my own answer to this one. Yes, this is a rant. (my first on this blog?!)

There’s a new series called “Sex in Vancity” in which relationship advice is dished out based on questions from readers. Now don’t get me wrong, I don’t think I’m qualified either in any way to tell anyone what to do with their life, but this article is so infuriating. Here is the question:

Why the (insert swear word here) won’t women in Vancouver just tell us what they want. Better yet, what get’s them off. Constant head games and no straight answers! It would save millions of male headaches to know rather than guess all of the time. Seriously girls, save humanity already.

Let’s ignore the poor punctuation, and just get straight to the issue. The obvious response is that not all women are the same. How the heck did that get missed in the answer? Instead, the writer responds with “Women are never going to flat out tell you what you want to hear because we are smarter than that.” – wait, what? The truth is, if you’re truly tired of the “constant head games”, you’re looking in the wrong place for a lady. On the other hand, if you’re lucky enough to have landed yourself a partner, and you still don’t know what “gets them off”, the best bet is that you should work on your communication skills.

This really reminds me of The Wife of Bath’s Tale in Chaucer’s The Canterbury Tales. You know, if we’re going to objectify women and assume they’re all the same. In short, a knight rapes a girl, and is sentenced to death, but due to a merciful queen, he is given a year to answer this exact question of what women want – if he can find the answer, he gets to keep his head (pun!). So the knight goes on a journey and asks every woman he meets the same question, but of course, gets a different answer every time. To spoil the story, the knight does survive thanks to an old hag who lets him know that the one thing women desires above all things is to be in charge of their husbands and lovers… but anyway, that’s what Chaucer thinks, and he’s a man, so who knows?

Anyway, my answer to the original question? Stop worrying about what someone wants out of you. Grow up and determine who you are, because until you do, you’ll never know who (or what) is right for you. Once you have that figured out, don’t try to date a stereotype – actually get to know the person you’re with – because they are as unique as you are.

By the way, unless a girl gives you an enthusiastic yes at a club, it’s definitely a no. Accept it and move on. But that’s a rant for another time.

In conclusion: Dear Vancity Buzz, please stop diluting your page with this crap! Relationship advice is great and all, but at least find someone who actually is willing to “dig, locate the professionals and experts and find you the answers to your questions and concerns” as promised.

Last year, I had only one wedding to attend (my very first, and my own!) – but this year, it’s like everyone’s getting engaged left, right and center! Okay, I might be exaggerating a bit, but it means I get to bust out my Cricut for a little card-making action! Mike has finally agreed to split a wedding design bundle with me (as an investment for the future, obviously… so my friends all better start getting married) and the above is the first card I made with it!

As a declaimer, the picture is historically inaccurate as they were both in their sweats at the time. However, it does sort of look like she’s waving “no” at him, so that part’s true to form. Congrats, Gary and Laura!

Also, the stamp (my design!) arrived! So if you’re one of the lucky few to receive my cards, flip it over and you just might find this on the back! …in a faint silver ink because I haven’t quite figured out what I’m doing yet.

My friend Megan had been begging asking me to make her a card ever since she found out about my Cricut machine… and this is the result! I gave it to her today so I can finally blog about it. And yes, I like puns. There’s probably a funnier pun out there, but her favourite animals are penguins and sea turtles and I couldn’t think of anything better at the time.

Who wants to be my next card project recipient? Just comment below with your best pun. Er… assuming I have your address or some method of getting the card to you.